Saturday, August 15, 2015

The Blogger's Guide To The Blogosphere: Chapter 7 -The Parent Blogger

Introduction:

In a remote corner of the Milky Way there is a small star. Eight, sometimes nine depending on who's counting, otherwise non-descript planets revolve around the yellow ball of heat. In an infinite universe, with infinite numbers of planets, meteors and asteroids, this star and it's eight, sometimes nine planets should be little more than a footnote except for one curious thing:

The third planet is inhabited by an industrious species known as "Homio Sapiens" or humans. (Pronounced hyoo-muh n). In addition to war, football and entirely hideous artwork, these humans went and created something called the internet. The internet has enabled otherwise unconnected members of the species to band together in a virtual environment and discuss all the important matters such as; parenting, pottery and procreation.

What is even more remarkable about these humans (again pronounced hyoo-muh ns) is that they have created a separate classification within the internet known as the Blogosphere. This Blogosphere is populated entirely by something called bloggers. These bloggers, while mainly comprised of humans, are really a sub-species unto themselves. The Blogosphere is so vast and complex that to even begin to comprehend, it is necessary to further sub-divide these bloggers into separate and unique categories.


The Blogger's Guide To The Blogosphere is the definitive encyclopedia on the Blogosphere and provides a comprehensive analysis into all aspects of blogging. Like all books published by the Universal Publishing Company, The Blogger's Guide To The Blogosphere begins with Chapter 7 and works backwards as well as sideways.

Chapter 7: Parent Bloggers

Within the Blogosphere, parent bloggers are perhaps the most numerous and diverse of any of the unique categories. The parent (pronounced peərənt) blogger can cross a wide range of ages and genders.

Note: humans come in two genders; a male and the typically dominant female.

While not 100% certain, topics for parent bloggers tend to focus on the growth and development of the next generation of the human species. The blogs themselves typically concentrate on the habits, rituals and events caused or involving the progeny of the parent blogger.


The parent blogger can be further divided in sub-categories. While difficult to be definitive, as there is movement and overlap between the various sub-categories, in order to interact and blend into any parent blogging community, recognition is essential. A brief description of the most common sub-categories of parent blogger and in most cases a "link" to an example of one of their premier bloggers is provided below:


The Not Quite Yet A Parent Blogger: This sub-category is predominantly focused on the gestation period required to develop a new human. The typical gestation period lasts slightly less than one complete revolution of the human planet around its star. Blog topics can vary, but often focus on visits to the medicine provider, fetal growth, lack of sleep, partner acceptance and birth preparation.

The Not Quite Yet A Parent Bloggers are notoriously hard to track down and tend to interact with other parent bloggers only rarely. It is anticipated that a link will be provided in the second addition.



The Baby Parent Blogger: Baby parent bloggers are easily recognized by a sharp focus on sleep deprivation and exhaustion. Some, but not all baby parent blogs contain large amounts of visual images, are usually intently focused on the developmental stages for these tiny humans (also known as newborns or infants) and descriptions of bodily functions.

Baby Parent Blogger Example: My kid doesn't poop rainbows and other parenting realizations



The Mom Blogger: The mom blogger sub-category is perhaps the broadest and least easily recognizable within the parent blogger category. Luckily almost all mom bloggers tend to self identify, making confirmation relatively simple. However, because most mom bloggers also focus on a wide range of blog topics, they can be found within other parent blogger sub-categories and even other categories. Mom bloggers are often sought out by the other parent bloggers for advice and guidance.

Mommy Blogger Example: Domesticated Momster 


The Dad Blogger: The dad blogger, while less numerous than his counterpart, the mom blogger, also typically covers a wide range of topics and genres in posting. Dad bloggers typically are recognized by their male gender and tendency to associate with other dad bloggers.

Dad Blogger Example: The Dad Network


The Multiple Child Parent Blogger: Parent bloggers with more than one, typically more than two progeny can be further sub-divided into the distinct multiple child sub-category. These bloggers tend to focus on organization, activities and in most visual images are shown with deep bags under their eyes. Warning: These bloggers often suffer from exhaustion and have been known not to suffer fools.

Multiple Child Parent Blogger Example: Sunshine Dad



The Humorous Parent Blogger: Perhaps the least common and rarest of all parent bloggers. While most parent bloggers have been known to cross into this classification temporarily, few can be definitively identified. These bloggers are recognized only through repeated side-splitting blog posts and numerous "I laughed so hard, I peed a little" comments.

Humorous Parent Blogger Example: R is for Hoppit 



Thus concludes Chapter 7 of The Blogger's Guide To The Blogosphere. Additional chapters will identify and demystify the Run Blogger, the Fashion Blogger, the Self-Help Blogger, the Blog Blogger, the Technology Blogger and the Professional Blogger.

As with all Universal Publishing Company products, outside contributors are welcome and updates will be made with each addition. Should readers know of unmentioned or undeveloped parent blogger sub-categories and link suggestions, please respond in the comments section.

Special thanks to the not quite alive Douglas Adams for creating the incredibly funny The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and providing the initial inspiration for this post.

Check another great blog The Playground at the End of the Universe  from a fellow blogger who's also been inspired by the great Douglas Adams.




PR Collaboration:













25 comments:

  1. I like this post! I'm still figuring out what type of parent blogger I am. Maybe you can give some advice on that. I find myself writing a lot about things that have influenced me growing up and have played a major role in my parenting. Great post! I'll be sure to come back for the other chapters! Visiting you from #thebigfatlinkyweek

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    1. Thanks Michelle. I must admit I'm also struggling with this a bit. I think I try and fit into a lot of these blogger roles (except to mom blogger but only due to genetics). While I'm planning on writing about the various bloggers and blogging types, I think it's just fine to write about whatever you want. As long as you're happy with the writing. Thanks for reading.

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    1. My pleasure and thanks for stopping bye.

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  3. Fun read and great idea to mirror the hitchhiker's guide. Thanks for the mention too! "Have been known not to suffer fools" lol

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    1. I'm glad you liked it. I thought you might get a kick out of that line. :)

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  4. I think you're right. I love to write about various things.

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    1. Good stuff. No need to feel pigeon-holed and if you end up writing primarily in one style, then that's great too.

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  5. Great post. My kids are probably happy I didn't get into blogging when they were younger - oh, the stories!

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    1. But just think of the great stories. Every day is pure blog gold around our house. In all serious though, I do try and keep things positive with the kids. Thanks for reading.

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  6. Great post, there are so many aspects of the 'Blogsphere' it's actually quite daunting sometimes. Still working out where I fit in!

    #weekendbloghop :)

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    1. Thank you. Honestly, so am I. Every time I turn around, there is something new to learn or a new way of doing things. Sometimes I think I should just concentrate on the material and hope the rest will just come together. Unfortunately, I find it all so interesting.

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  7. Ah, Douglas Adams; I still get a bit teary when I remember he's gone. Great post. I think I fit into several of these depending on the post.

    #AnythingGoes

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    1. He was far too young and such a great story teller. I love his style and humour. Thanks again for stopping in for a read.

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  8. Love this! I'm still new to the Blogosphere and it really is a new world to me! Lots to learn but loving it here so far. Great post :-) #AnythingGoes

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    1. Thanks and I'm glad you liked the post. It's daunting but filled with good people too.

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  9. Interesting post I enjoyed it #anythinggoes

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  10. Nice round up! Lots of new blogs to check out too! #anythinggoes

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    1. If you have the chance, you definitely should. They are all great and favourites of mine. Thanks for reading.

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  11. hmmm. I know I commented the other day here but it was from my phone and sometimes blogger doesn't work with my phone. Any who...thank you so much for the fabulous mention! When I first started blogging I really wasn't sure that I would ever be categorized as a "mommy" blogger even though my blog name justifies that. I really do blog about whatever comes to mind but that's usually motherhood since I am submerged in it. Thanks again for the mention and for sharing another great post with #momsterslink

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    1. My pleasure and so glad that you agreed to be a part of the blog. I think I had the same thing happen a few weeks ago with my phone so no worries.

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  12. Love this, made me chuckle! Us bloggers definitely are a different species :)
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
    Debbie

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    1. My pleasure and I'm glad you liked it. I'll have to figure out which post to link up for this week.

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  13. Great post, I hadn't really thought about this, but it's true there are many different catergories and I still am figuring out how I fit into this mix. #anythinggoes

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