Monday, August 17, 2015

Water - An imaginary PR pitch

When I took up blogging a few months ago, I knew there might come a time when my charismatic writing style might start to attract marketing and PR companies. When the irresistible allure of my silky, sweet prose would draw the product companies into my web of suburban chaos.

Well, it hasn't happened yet, but when the good folks in my imagination approached me during my run this morning about water, I must admit I was intrigued. Who doesn't like water and as an added bonus, since our bodies are mostly full of it, I think that may just qualify me as an expert.

As I was trudging through the 99% humidity and really regretting my decision to leave my hydration belt at home, the completely imaginary marketing manager, Mr H, launched into his pitch:

"Rob," he said, "You're a natural fit for this product. You drink water right? You swim right? I know you take showers, although perhaps not this morning, right?"

He continued, "We've had our eye on you for quite some time. Don't think we didn't notice all those tweets about having fun in the pool and your post on heading to the lake with the kids was pure liquid gold. (10-Reasons to pack up the kids and head to the lake) You just can't buy that kind of good publicity. We like what you're doing, but want to focus and streamline your overall approach and integrate more water."


Mr. H was joined by the equally unreal VP of Sales, Mrs. Two. "We're thinking about a long-term partnership here. Repeated blog posts highlighting the positive impact of water on you and your family. We're thinking multi-media campaign with YouTube videos, Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter.

Mrs Two hit a feverish pitch, "Love your blog and I'm just spit-balling here but let's go with it. Picture this: An Instagram video pops up. You and your gorgeous family are drinking cool, refreshing water, smiling and maybe the little one spills some. Everyone laughs and we fade to a cool, refreshing glass of delicious water. Then, follow this up with a whole series of in-depth blog posts on playing in the water. Think lakes, pools, rivers, sprinklers and water balloon fights. It will be epic."

At this point, she was almost shouting in my head as I trudged up that final hill and hit the home stretch. "I have an in with Mother Nature, known to us in the marketing circles as Ms O. She has guaranteed a torrential downpour and maybe even an early, freak snowstorm for your half marathon in October. What a closer for the whole campaign and we want Carews in Suburbia front an centre! Are you in?"

As I made the last turn and huffed my way towards my house, I nodded to my make-believe PR reps but felt I had to ask what was in it for me. I'm new to the blogging world, but even in my heat frazzled brain, I knew that they had come to me for a reason.

I needed to maximize my influence and leverage my talent. So, as I stretched out on the lawn in front of my house, I asked my imaginary marketing duo what sort of Return on Investment (ROI) I could expect for my participation. They looked at each other slyly,shrugged and simply stated, "You get to stay alive and healthy."

Who could argue with that kind of logic. So I took my sweat soaked self inside and headed straight to the tap for some ice cold water.

Maybe next time the PR folks won't just be made up and the result of possible dehydration? Maybe next time, I'll think twice and remember to bring a bottle of water out on hot runs.

Fade...................














PR Collaboration:



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12 comments:

  1. Brilliant! How indeed can they resist prose like that??

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    1. Thanks Morna. I'm glad you liked it.

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  2. Haha! This is great! & water should have PR people. It's a much easier sell than, say, evil diet pills. Oxygen should also have PR people!

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    1. Thanks. I actually had a lot of fun writing this post and am somehow secretly hoping that when/if I do actually end up meeting with some marketing folks, they are like my imaginary ones. (Super slick and all energy)

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  3. Well done! The funny thing is that we don't have "city water" at my house, so we have to have water trucked in every other week. Maybe I'll put in a good word for you with our water guy! :)

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    1. Thanks Jamie. When it comes to water, I think I need all the help I can get.

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  4. Lol :-)
    Maybe you should approach Evian!

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    1. Too funny. I actually did think about sending this to them and a few of the other water companies.

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  5. You should send it out! Who knows... and it would certainly be a new angle - youd stand out from the crowd at least #wineandboobs

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    1. Thanks Jemma. All this positive encouragement and I think I'm going to have to find out how to send it to a few product reps.

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  6. Love it Rob. I too have a dream of a similar interaction with some energetic PR people who fly me out for lunch and we talk turkey and get excited together. Go for it, I say! Mel xx #wineandboobs

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    1. Thanks Melanie and I love it. "Fly me out for lunch." That's perfect!

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