Then the littlest one tugged hard at my pant leg and desperately needed a snack.
Pause for crackers and cheese.
I sat down to draft a great blog post with sage-like advice that all parents, new and old, would want to incorporate into their own parenting repertoire....
Then the middle child elbowed her sister in the side over a raging doll ownership dispute requiring a "judge dad" intervention.
Pause for adjudication and decision rendering.
I sat down to craft a beautiful piece with just the right mixture of humour, sadness and soul that it would be good enough for the best of the Chicken Soup for the Great Dads series.....
Then a wave of sickness erupted upon the house felling children like the mighty Paul Bunyan and his bull Blue clearing forest after forest in the days of old.
Pause for mandatory disinfection and nurse duty.
I sat down to put together a blog post that would catapult me into the upper echelons of the elite daddy and mommy bloggers. One that would make my site one of those listed in Top 10 Hot Bloggers List or 5 Must Read Blogs.....
Then someone let the dog out and she escaped to the park, resulting in two hours of searching, crying, door knocking and posse mobilizing.
Pause for skunk spray eliminating tomato juice bath and fence building.
I sat down to write a blog post so charming and witty that it would get noticed by the Huffington Post and half a dozen publishing companies who would end up in a massive bidding war over the rights to my first epic novella....
Then a not so gentle reminder in the shape of the increasingly long Honey Do list was waved in front of my face while a child waded through the savanna of two foot tall grass in the backyard.
Pause to fire up the lawnmower, pull out the paintbrush, clean out the shed, fix the siding on the house and then call in a favor to re-fix the siding because of my "handy work."
I sat down to craft the literary masterpiece of blogs that would cause both Barbara Walters and Oprah to come out of retirement and work directly with Ellen to host a 2 hour long special dedicated to the brilliance of my writing.....
Then the sound of keys striking the keyboard was interrupted by screams that both the toilet and sink were overflowing in two different bathrooms.
Pause for daily plunger workout, regular lecture on the principle of moderation regarding toilet paper usage and payment to the plumber for extraction of toys from sink drain.
I sat down to prepare the first draft for the blog post that would dazzle all the Hollywood executives and producers who I'm certain already follow my blog religiously, into signing me to a multi-million dollar three script deal based on the hilarious antics of a suburban dad and his wacky family....
Then one of the kids shoved six legos up her sister's nose in an in-depth experiment on nasal capacity.
Pause for three hours of Operation style tweezer work, a trip to the local hospital and a stern lecture from an unimpressed doctor on the importance of keeping everything except perhaps your finger out of your nose.
I sat down and actually wrote this post because life happen and I want to have time to live and not miss the best moments of raising a family.
Now I'm going to get the family, go exploring, have adventures and eventually, after the kids go to bed, I'll write about them because truthfully they are pretty funny as well as heartwarming and should be shared.